Stan's Story
by capm
Summary: This is an Epilogue to the story Book Covers. It covers how Stan became a Finance employee at WOOHP, and also tells how Jerry and Dr. Quincy the head of WOOHP Labs got their positions. It also answers the question What was Tim Scam afraid of?


Stan's Story  
  
It's time for the WOOHP annual summer bash, and of course the girls are invited. They are looking forward to it, because they want to see if they can convince Stan to tell his story. After a good picnic lunch the gals corner Stan  
  
"How about filling us in on that long overdue story of yours, Stan?" asks Clover.  
  
"Yes, we want to know how such a good field agent ended up in Finance!", says Sam.  
  
"And how you got around Scam's facility without being seen!!", says Alex.  
  
"Well, I don't see any harm in telling the story.", starts Stan.  
  
"In fact, Jerry's and my story are connected."  
  
This really interests the spies because Jerry has never told them his story either.  
  
Stan starts "It all started back 35 years ago. Jerry and I started at WOOHP on the same Monday. He started in the Great Britain office and I in the Ohio office. Just as WOOHP does today, we were teamed with another agent. For Jerry it was Quincy, the same good doctor who is the head of our research labs right now, and I was teamed with Ed."  
  
"The Ed, Scam referred to?", asks Alex.  
  
"Yes, Alex. The same Ed." The girls are really interested now. What was Scam so afraid of?  
  
"Quickly, the four of us established ourselves as the top agents in WOOHP. We got the tough assignments and we always came through. Some of the high profile assignments that Jerry and Quincy were on were: they foiled an assassination attempt on the French President; prevented the theft of the Royal Crown Jewels in England; and stopped the kidnapping of a Saudi princess. Ed and I stopped a Presidential assassination attempt in the USA; broke up a drug cartel in South America; and stopped the destruction of a nuclear enrichment facility in Siberia.  
  
"We also worked together. There was a mission where two nuclear Russian subs armed with 3 multi-megaton nuclear warhead missiles each were stolen by a madman in the 1980's, during the collapse of the Soviet Union. His plan was to park one in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and one in the middle of the Pacific. He would fire the missiles at Sydney, Beijing, London and Washington. After the attack, all four of the attacked countries would be able to determine that Russian missiles hit them, by tracing the missile fuel signature. They would then launch retaliatory strikes against a Russia, who hadn't done anything. Russia would respond.  
  
"With all of the nuclear fallout in the northern hemisphere, life would come to an end. So the madman would rule the world from the middle of Africa in the southern hemisphere. Jerry and Quincy were able to infiltrate the Atlantic sub; Ed and I the Pacific one and stopped the firing. We then joined forces in Africa, tracking down the madman, and brought him to justice. Only a handful of people know how close we came to the end of the world on that mission!  
  
"Right as we completed 10 years of service, the old head of WOOHP and the head of WOOHP Research labs decided that they would retire in one year, and they wanted to get assistants to smooth the transition of power. The top 4 candidates were, naturally, the top 4 spies – Jerry, Quincy, Ed and I.  
  
"After the interview process, Jerry was chosen for the head WOOHP assistant's job, and Quincy for the head WOOHP research lab's assistant job.  
  
"WOOHP also wanted to let Ed and I know why we were not chosen. Ed was somewhat of a brawler. In the annual self defense competition, Ed invariably won the first place trophy; Jerry and Quincy would be in the top 20; and I would finish middle of the pack."  
  
"Why was that, Stan?" asks Sam.  
  
"Well Sam, I am a lot stronger than most people would think. I never wanted to hurt my fellow agents by using my full strength against them."  
  
"He therefore telegraphed his punches", interrupted Jerry. "I hope you don't mind if I sit in on the story too, Stan."  
  
"Not at all Jerry! And Jerry is right. I was telegraphing my punches, so I'd lose. I'd never get knocked out – I always lost on points. Well, Ed always won. But in the stealth competition, Ed would always finish dead last. Jerry and Quincy always finished in the top 10."  
  
"With Stan winning hands down every year", chimed in Jerry.  
  
"So that's how you were able to get around Scam's compound without being detected!" says, Clover.  
  
"Yes, Clover. That's how. It just made good sense to get into a target unnoticed , get what was needed, and get out unnoticed, rather than run right through the front door, usually into a trap."  
  
"Like WE did in Scam's facility?" , asks Sam.  
  
"Well...yes. But back to Ed. Because he was viewed as being reckless, he was passed over for the jobs. He seemed OK with that. As for me, the jobs require a good deal of hobnobbing with dignitaries and statesmen. That really isn't my cup of tea. I can do it effectively, if I have to, but I would rather not. That's why I wasn't chosen, and that was fine with me.  
  
"So Ed and I went back to the field. Our next case was the toughest we ever encountered. A person or persons unknown was trying to gain control of all energy sources in the world: hydro, electrical, thermal, nuclear, coal, wind, oil, etc. Their plan was to force the countries of the world to do as they wished, or else they would get no energy. Six times Ed and I came tantalizingly close to nabbing the bad guys, but they were always just one baby step ahead of us and got away. Finally, Ed and I decided to work independently on this case. We'd done it before, to see if attacking the problem from two fronts would work better. So we split up.  
  
"I should confess, before I continue, that I am somewhat of a tinkerer. I love to add capabilities to my WOOHP gadgets."  
  
"Unauthorized capabilities", chimes in Jerry.  
  
"Well, Jerry, they might be unauthorized but they always worked!"  
  
"I know, that's why you've never been disciplined for doing it. You always tell Quincy what the modifications are after you field-test it, too. Not exactly procedure, but your innovations have helped make good WOOHP gadgets better."  
  
"Thanks, Jerry. Well I had just gotten my new laser pen. As all light emitting devices do, their strength dissipates the farther away they get from their source. My tinkering allowed me to lock in on a target, which then would maximize the power I could deliver, automatically."  
  
"Just like our laser lipsticks do today!", exclaims Clover.  
  
"Yes. The locking laser was one of my improvements. Well, getting back to the story, I was studying a narrative of the six break-ins, looking for a clue. Not seeing anything, I decided to plot them on a world map. I quickly saw that the six sites would make up the sides of an equilateral hexagon. If I were to connect the opposite vertices, they would intersect at one point, most probably the control center. So I programmed the connections and asked for the GPS coordinates of the central point.  
  
"It was WOOHP headquarters! We had a traitor in our mitts! I had to investigate, but I couldn't just walk in – I was supposed to be in the field. If I suddenly showed up at WOOHP headquarters I would scare off the traitor. So I had to find a security weakness in the building. And finally did. WOOHP headquarters is under constant surveillance by video camera on all door and windows. The only weakness..."  
  
"Which no longer exists", chimes in Jerry.  
  
Stan continued, "...was in the exhaust fan housing of the hot air return on the roof. This fan would instantly slice someone to sushi if they tried to get into the air ducts from there. But I had an electrical motor stall device of my own making. I landed on the roof dressed entirely in black, using a clear parachute and a reflective coat. Because the parachute was clear, all the camera saw was the night sky. And because the coat was reflective, all the camera saw was a mirror image of what bounced off me.  
  
"After landing, I made my way to the fan housing. I used my stall device to stop the 12 foot fan, cut off a small portion of a blade, got behind it, used my laser to weld the blade back on, and used my stall device to reactivate the fan. This took about 2 minutes. I was now in the exhaust vent of WOOHP.  
  
"This vent leads to the air vents, which provide a ready avenue to any place in WOOHP, undetected...  
  
"....At that time. Now there are sensors in all the vents to pick up intruders.", added Jerry.  
  
"I knew that the control device would have to be in the main computer room—it was the only computer powerful enough to control all of those energy source computers. On arriving at the computer room, I saw an unauthorized piece of hardware on the control panel, and immediately knew that had to be the control device. I quickly locked my laser for full power on the unit, and set it to remote control."  
  
"Why remote control, Stan?", asked Sam.  
  
"Sam, I had located the device, but not the traitor. The job was only half complete. So I employed my stealth capabilities and waited for the traitor to activate the control unit. I didn't have to wait long. The traitor came through the door, bounding toward the unit saying 'The time has come to take control!'. Just before he got to the control unit, I hit my remote and the laser shot out, totally destroying the control unit.  
  
"He turned with a crazed look in his eyes. And I was face to face with....."  
  
"Tim Scam!", interrupted Alex.  
  
"No, Alex, it wasn't Tim Scam it was...Ed."  
  
"Your partner?," asked Alex incredulously.  
  
"Yes Alex. The same man who had saved my life and I his numerous times, not to mention the lives of innocent people throughout the world. Ed was the traitor. He saw me, and his face changed to an evil smile.  
  
'Surprised?', he asked.  
  
'More disappointed than surprised.' I said. I continued 'What in the world is wrong with you? For the last ten years we have dedicated our lives to protecting innocent people, and now you want to enslave them???'  
  
'You're a fool, Stan', Ed stated. 'Yes we put our necks on the line everyday, and what do we get? Our meager pay, and no chance for promotion! Do you want to be a field agent all your life, not knowing when the end is coming, or where?'  
  
'Ed, our life is a great deal better than others. Police and firemen risk their lives daily too, and they do it for about 20% of the pay we get. We always travel first class, stay at deluxe accommodations, have access to the best gadgets in the world, and protect innocent people. We are looked up to and respected by world leaders as well as our peers in WOOHP. What more do you want?'  
  
'Stan, all of that doesn't make up for the fact that if the world had one central authority figure, WOOHP and organizations like it would not need to exist. And if that figure could enforce his will on everyone, the world would be at peace.'  
  
'Not to mention that the authority figure would be richer than his wildest dreams, right Ed?'  
  
'All right! You saw through the help-the-world rhetoric. Yes I would be the richest, most powerful man alive! And I still will be! I must go and get my backup unit, seeing you destroyed my first one.'  
  
'Ed', I said incredulously, as I pressed my WOOHP distress button, 'You're not going anywhere, except jail!'  
  
'Really, Stan!', Ed said snidely 'And whose going to stop me? The number 50th rated self-defense WOOHP agent? I think not. Let me go, and I'll let you live!'  
  
I said 'Ed, you aren't going anywhere!'  
  
'Very well!' Ed sneered. 'I gave you a chance to live! But now you're an obstacle! Goodbye Stan!!' And he charged straight toward me..."  
  
"With a formerly concealed switchblade knife now open in his right hand, which Stan did not initially see", chimed in Jerry.  
  
"That's true. But I expected Ed to do a frontal assault. I waited calmly and as he got into striking distance I hit him with all the strength I had with a right uppercut. His whole body bent upward by the force of the blow to where his head was now even with mine...."  
  
"And Stan could see the deployed switchblade out of the corner of his left eye...", added Jerry.  
  
"...and I followed it up with a hard left cross to the temple..."  
  
"Which caused Ed to drop the switchblade...", added Jerry.  
  
"Just as WOOHP security entered the computer room. Ed was lying motionless on the floor in a heap. The medic did a quick examination and stated Ed needed to be rushed to the hospital ASAP..."  
  
At this point Stan stops telling his story, and appears to wipe a tear from his eye.  
  
Jerry says quietly, "I'll take it from here, Stan. Well Stan had defended himself from a crazed attack, and had saved the world. But that brought no solace to him. Ed had his jaw fractured in five places from the first punch, and his skull was fractured in four places from the second. Ed....never recovered. He died that night."  
  
"Oh, Stan!", exclaims Alex, "how awful!"  
  
Stan says quietly "I'll take it from here, Jerry. Yes, Ed was dead. And I had killed him!"  
  
"But you were just defending yourself! He would have killed you if you wouldn't have reacted!", says Sam.  
  
Stan replies, "That's what everyone told me. But, I had a hard time dealing with his death. Even after seeing the security video, which shows him with the switchblade, I still had a hard time. I finally went to the old head of WOOHP and requested to be taken out of the field and put in a desk job.  
  
'I've already lost three top agents, two to promotions, already. I can't afford to lose you, Stan!', he said.  
  
I said, 'In that case, here.' And I handed him my resignation.  
  
He read the letter and looked me straight in the eye. 'If I don't put you at a desk job, I lose you?'  
  
I said, 'Sir, you need someone out in the field who can keep their head. Someone who doesn't use excessive force to accomplish a goal. I'm not that person anymore.'  
  
'Why do you say that, Stan? You have been trained for years to protect yourself, without having to think about it. You've been trained so well, it's reflex, and it has to be, or else I lose a lot of agents in the field. All you did was react appropriately to the situation, based on your training.'  
  
He looked at me for about a minute, 'But I can see you don't believe that. I will not accept your resignation, but I will put you at a desk job under one important condition. If I need your help and your skills during the years to come, you'll agree to help me, or my successor Jerry, to the fullest extent of your ability. Agreed?'  
  
'Yes', I said. And that's how I got to be a Finance person." Stan completes his story.  
  
So THAT'S what Scam was afraid of! He thought he might end up like Ed if he tangled hand-to-hand with Stan!  
  
Jerry continues "And now ladies you know why Stan is normally the first desk agent I'll send in the field, if I need the help. He is still very effective, and on more than one occasion I have tried to convince him to return to the field over these last 25 years, but he won't do it. He doesn't want another partner, and maybe have to relive the Ed episode again. So I use him for specials, like your Tim Scam mission."  
  
Alex says, "You can include him on any of our missions. He will be most welcome!"  
  
"Totally!", says Clover.  
  
"Maybe he can teach us some of his stealth skills too!", adds Sam.  
  
"That's an excellent idea, Sam! Stan can teach you three a great deal about stealth. It will make your spy lives safer, and more effective." Jerry says to him, "Stan, what do you say to becoming the girls' stealth teacher?"  
  
"If they don't mind, I don't! In fact, I'd rather enjoy it!" replies Stan happily. 


End file.
